Alone together

M. left yesterday. It was hard to leave her at the airport. Change makes all of us uneasy, I think.

Since the airport is so close to my parents house, we spent a relaxing afternoon visiting.

So far so good.

And then I woke up today, feeling somewhat empty, routine having flown out of the country with M's plane. What would the day be like?

Shower. Sit. Read email. Dress. Fold laundry. These quiet moments help me gather strength and courage to be MOM all day.

And what a beautiful day it turned out to be.

We had leftover pancakes and Chinese dumplings for breakfast. Something new and silly. Except R, who asked for "Eggs Lox-edict" (the famous eggy dish with Hollandaise sauce over the top, but with lox in place of ham).

Pause. Start to find excuses. Breathe. Why not? What else do I have to do today? Too frequently, the answer is the dishes, the laundry, finding a nanny, work, errands, cleaning my room, the laundry, the dishes, changing a diaper, reading my email, trying to make plans for ANOTHER time, instead of being HERE at THIS time.

Okay. No English muffins? No problem. We'll use a bagel. Who wants to help make the Hollandaise? All of you? Okay, I love having your help.

In between making the sauce the boys played hide and seek, and then a new version of superheros-and-villains based on a movie they watched last night and their current favorite show. I love to hear them laugh together. I got out the long disused video camera.

After breakfast we played some old favorite computer and video games. V & I cut out a memory game and played. We found some cool weather clothes for V from the hand-me-down pile in the closet. We moved some warm weather clothes to the hand-me-down pile on top of his dresser. We washed diapers. We ran the dishwasher. We listened to music and danced. We juggled stuffed animals. We caught grapes in our mouths. (I never knew I could do that!) We ate leftover Chinese food for lunch.

Thoughts start creeping into my head. I should get out of the house. I should do some virtual grocery shopping.

R started coloring some Halloween wood cutouts he picked out at the store. E & V want some too. Ok, we'll go to the store and pick some up. We picked up more monster (alien) cutouts and other fun things, too. (I love craft stores.)

We colored. We had ice cream for a snack. We looked at the letters Daddy left for the boys - little projects to engage them while he is gone.

The boys go out to the back yard to play. Ok, finally, I'll get a chance to write that blog post, and maybe order some groceries, and oh yeah, I have that newsletter to work on ...

Two sentences into this post, I hear crying in the back yard.

Ok. I get it. When I am with the boys, I need to be WITH the boys. Then we have a good day.

Now ... I can write now because J is reading with the boys. I don't need to be with them if someone else is with them. It's okay for them to have fun with Dad, too.

And, it is okay for them to have fun with an au pair, or nanny when I attend to other needs. I have a hard time accepting that I put other needs ahead of theirs, but that is why I am looking for the right person to take care of their needs while I take care of mine.

Starting with grains of sand

I had previously talked with R about what he wants to work on in school this year, so it was only fair that I also talk to E about what he wants to work on. For the record, E wants to learn about space, how to build and fly a spaceship, how to build and operate a synagogue, how to cook, and how to build/keep a fish pond. I think I've got it all.

E is something of an imitator. So, when his big brother says he will be a rabbi & sushi chef running a synagogue-restaurant on Mars, E says he will be a rabbi & sushi chef running a synagogue-restaurant on "the purple planet". Hence, the "course selection".

It is a delightful dream they have for the future. I hesitate to help them learn how to do it, for fear they will come to judge it the way I do - as unrealistic. But if their dreams motivate them to learn, I couldn't stand in their way if I wanted to. I resign myself to the fact that they will grow up, as children must, and hope that the motivation to learn stays with them whether the dreams whither or grow.

These grains of sand are my curriculum.

School days are nearly here

Welcome to my home school blog. Here I intend to chronicle the ups and downs of our new endeavor together as a family.

Three beautiful boys will be learning at this school, in addition to mom and dad.

R, age 7, is the impetus for us to start homeschooling. He is very bright, but apparently, as often happens with bright children, his development is somewhat asynchronous. He loves science, particularly space science, and math, and is a good reader. Writing is more difficult - I don't think it is the physical act of writing so much as figuring out how to organize his ideas so that they can be written down. He is a visual-spatial learner. Along with difficulties in writing, he also follows the V-S profile in that he has a hard time attending to and following directions. Not a good recipe for doing well in traditional school, especially when he finds the subject matter extremely easy. Strong-willed as well, he will make home schooling an adventure for sure.

E, age 4, was bored with preschool last year by March. And with his brother homeschooling, there just wouldn't be any way to send him to pre-K. He is extremely observant, loves to tell stories - there are entire universes inside his head, it seems - and lately has become very interested in reading.

V, age 1.5, will probably be our motivation to think creatively (as to how we can include him) more than anything else. I'm sure he will not abide being kept out of the "action". He seems to say and understand a lot for his age, but is more interested in ripping books than reading them.

I've been doing some reading to prepare me for this new endeavor. I recently completed Linda Dobson's Homeschooling: The Early Years, and Homeschooling, The First Year. I am currently working on Upside-Down Brilliance: The Visual-Spatial Learner by Linda Kreger Silverman. In my queue are also Teach Your Own by John Holt and Patrick Farenga, The Edison Trait, by Lucy Jo Palladino, and the unschooling handbook: How to Use the Whole World As Your Child's Classroom, by Mary Griffith. Phew! That's a lot of pages. How will I manage it all while caring for, teaching, and encouraging three young boys? I suppose I will soon find out.

The Oyster School official starts September 1. We don't have any curriculum planned, just some idea that we will study science, math, and cooking, and take swimming lessons (per discussion with R - needs to be updated also with E's input!). I suppose I am aiming for an eclectic/unit studies/unschooling approach. (If I make the target that big, do you think I will hit?)

We also have a general agreement that video games will have to wait until after "school". But if we don't have anything concrete planned? Well, I think learning to organize our time will also be a very good lesson for the first few months.

Wish us luck. We're off on a great adventure.

Edited to fix spelling.